The past four years have been hard for me, very hard. I'm writing this for people who are still in the thick of it, depression (Not the same thing as sadness). It's a struggle far beyond anything else I've ever had to overcome.
For those of you who have never had experience with depression (or think you have, but haven't actually) let me explain my experience. Sadness and depression from a by-stander's point of view look the same, but to the beholder they're very different. Sadness is where you're focused on something that you need to cope with, it's normal for everyone to feel sad. Depression however, rather than being forced to look at sad things, you can see the absence of anything happy. Even if happy things surround you, you have no perception of them, as if they weren't even there at all.
For this reason is why depressed people seem/feel so helpless, you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel, heck. Not even if the light is shining right in your face. Depending on the extent of your depression the pain you bare could range from numbness to the equivalent of being on fire, or drowning, only you don't die. You just keep running with the pain.
However, there is light, there always is light. You can't see it, but you have to wait and find it. It does get better, seek help. A psychologist/therapist. For awhile you will feel like it's not helping, or getting worse. It's hard to find the meds that are right for you, or a therapist who you mesh with. Just keep going, fight. You cannot see the light on the outside, but there is a fire still hiding inside of you. Hold on tight to that fire, don't let anyone or anything take it away from you.
As I said, it has taken me four years. Things still aren't 100% sorted out, but the past Friday I felt pure joy for the first time in that span of time. It had been so long I forgot what joy felt like. Sadly, it's only lasted through the weekend and now the meds are giving me mood swings along with a flurry of other side effects, but now I have hope. I'm close, the worst is behind ne. I never could have imagined feeling like this, even just a year from today.
You don't know when it's going to get better, it can take a very long time like it did for me, but I wouldn't want it any other way. Yes, that's right. Looking back, if I had a choice in whether I got depressed or not, I'd say yes. I'm a better person for it, I can make others happy better. My art (Music) even amidst not being able to practice for so long has gotten better. I might have lived out four years of my life that I won't get back, feeling little to no joy, but now that I've seen as bad as it can get, I can use this expeirence inside me to make others feel better.
The point is, push through. It will get better, something good will come of it, you have the greatest joys of your life ahead of you and you're gonna get there. If you ever feel like it's too much, if it hurts too bad, find someone. You'll feel like you're only bothering them/wasting their time, but trust me. If they're truely your friend, they'd rather you bother them every day than to see you take your life.
It is at this time you will learn who your true friends are. Now, true friends are hard to come by as I've found, to my dissapointment. If your, "Friends" leave you without a word (It's different if they simply don't have the energy to help) and you have no one else. Note me, I'll give you my contact details and we can talk it out. I'm in the struggle too mind, I won't always be there, but I'll try my best.
I hope this has helped someone, somewhere, at least a little bit. It would mean the world to me just to get a smile out of one of you. You're not alone